Infertility and the couple partnership

Infertility can impact a couple’s relationship greatly. Being both very vulnerable, due to the sadness, worries, and low affect of not succeeding with a shared dream. At times, the partners are at different stages of mourning, excepting, experiencing, which can be very challenging. The support each partner needs might also differ greatly and as both experience the grief and loss of a dream, it’s difficult to be there as emotional and physical support.

Seek support early, the earlier the better. Far too often, individuals and couples wait too long and are already in crisis mode, have many broken glasses already, when they finally take the step to seek help. Very unfortunate, since the person we would need the most during these difficult times is the partner.

A professional third party, a psychologist can be a great source of relief. A person that genuinely listens to the couple’s needs. An expert that can contain the experiences and be a non-judgemental listener.

Benefits of copule's therapy are, that the couple can learn how to best support each other, based on each individual’s needs. In couple’s therapy there’s room for each individual to share their needs in a neutral environment.

The therapist can support the couple to contain emotions and navigate and explain the individual behaviors and their origin. These explanations can reduce friction, tension, and misunderstandings.

Therapists can provide tools in how to learn to better understand each other. One such resource are the 5 love languages https://5lovelanguages.com/. There’s a love language questionnaire, a tool that can be used as a valuable source of information, to better understand the partner and their needs and ways of expressing love and care.

Try to be a non-judgmental, curious listener, even if it’s terribly difficult at times.

The better each partners’ understand each other, the less conflicts, misunderstandings, and feelings of being ignored by the partner there are.

 

A guide for couples:

 

1. Seek professional help early.
2. Mutually agree on the therapist and frequency.
3. Invest time to understand your partners needs.
4. Be open to use tools, such as the 5 love languages, to understand your partner better.
5. Learn to become a non-judgmental, curious listener.
6. Accept that you might be at different stages in the mourning process.
7. Focus on your relationship as a couple, its values and why you are actually undergoing reproductive treatment.
8. Be willing to share your worries and vulnerabilities with your partner.
9. Relationships don’t have to be complicated.
10. Go out and enjoy some couple’s time. Focus on positive things you love to do.

@drschwank

@unesurcent 

@optimalperformancezurich