Jealously and why it’s so common

Most of us know the feeling of being exposed to jealousy. Yet, it often takes a while to understand the dynamic and what the underlying emotion is, we’re feeling, when surrounded by a jealous person. It can be incredibly destructive to a degree of life threatening, for the person exposed to jealousy. Mobbing at work, schools, universities are often related to jealousy, domestic violence another common place for jealousy, as well as among friends, and acquaintances.

 

The fairytale Snow White is one of the best examples describing basic human interactions and feelings, such as jealousy.

 

Why are people jealous?

Often, it’s a feeling of inadequacy, dissatisfaction, low self-esteem of the jealous person that lead to the strong emotion of jealousy, when encountering other people that live an outwardly perfect life in the eyes of the jealous person. They seem to have all the jealous person desires and more. To the jealous person this appears unfair and self-doubts why do I not have all of the success, the amazing partner, the beautiful appearance like to other person, they targeted. A personal insecurity can transfer into jealousy, if a person is in proximity that meets the perfect ideal of the self of the patient. Often this isn’t obvious initially and needs time to sink in.

 

What can we do, when exposed to jealousy?

Jealous people will remain jealous, no matter what we do. If we try to be nice to them, respectful, friends or distance ourselves. They’ll always return with jealousy.

An amazing Jungian colleague of mine once said. If someone is toxically jealous, the only thing that works is running away!

A wise advice, particularly because jealous people implant a feeling of inadequacy into us. A feeling of low self-esteem, second guessing of our choices and who we consider to be.

 

Who are targets of jealousy?

Strong, independent, successful, and attractive women are often a target and exposed to severe jealousy. To degrees that are life threatening. Jealousy from both other females, but also male counterparts.

 

What can we do, when exposed to jealousy?

-Knowing about jealousy, noticing the signs early, and understanding that it’s not our person that’s the core of the problem, but the jealousy of another person, is essential in order to deal with it appropriately.

-It is important, to learn already during childhood, how to cope with uncomfortable emotions, such as jealousy.

-We shouldn’t protect our children of these emotions, since without knowing the wold being cruel, the child will be much more vulnerable and an easy target for a jealous person.

-Fairytales in use for educational purpose. Fairytales, such as Snow White can be incredibly valuable sources, serving as metaphors for situations, interactions happening in the real world.

-In certain situations, the best choice is simply to “run away”. To avoid being further exposed to a toxic environment of jealous people, engaging in bullying, negative roomers, destructive behavior towards the person they’re jealous of.

 

“Surround with people that feel like sunshine”

@drschwank

@unesurcent