Reinventing parenting part 2: Life as new parents

Life as new parents

It’s a major transition for everyone in the family to become fist time parents, grandparents, great grandparents, aunt, and uncle.

The roles in the couple are new defined, as well as the roles in the extended family. The transition to parenthood, motherhood, fatherhood, and grandparenthood is a very significant identity transformation. Many initially struggle, after their first or only child is born and mourn their lost position as individuals, their role within the partnership, and the family of origin. The transition is comparable with other major milestones in life, such as adolescence to adulthood, marriage, divorce, children leaving home, and retirement. We’re extra vulnerable in these phases and stages of life. Redefining our identity is a fragile place and depending on the way we deal with it, either in a constructive or destructive way. As new parents, it’s important to be aware of the transitional stage the entire family is in. The understanding of why each partner might feel sad, depressed or extra anxious relate to the new defined identities, and for the woman also hormonal changes after delivery.

After pregnancy and what it implies for the couple’s sex life, becoming parents, and the view of the partner in the maternal or paternal role, can impact the sexual attraction initially. It is essential to focus on time as a couple, very consciously making this time and choice to focus on time, just the two adults. Organizing support to spend as much time as a couple as possible, to maintain the partnership, as two lovers, not to parents or roommates. Jealousy towards the baby can also be observed, when one of the partners is too preoccupied with the baby and neglects the partner and his or her needs for attention and unconditional love. The more we’re aware of these mechanisms, the less they get into our way and negatively impact our relationships. Particularly, the so very precious one to our partner, or lover, and primary reason why we probably decided to have a child in the first place. The new roles, sleep deprivation, and general overwhelmed atmosphere can trigger fights, unnecessary disputes.   

@drschwank

@unesurcent