Youth well-being: what can parents do to support?

Adolescence is a phase in life, probably no adult wants to return to. A place where we felt insecure, super dependent on our friends, felt excluded, uncool, debating of going to this party or not, like this music or not, and yet under massive academic pressure. Thinking of what to study, what career to persuade, and distancing oneself from the parents. Parents that sense the distancing and often struggle to accept that children are growing up and becoming independent young people. 

The more we give young people space, to figure out their identity by themselves, the more willing they are to share, and the more open the conversations will be. Needless to say, this is incredibly difficult and requires a lot of patience and trust from the parents, that their emerging adult will succeed in life, even without their hands on involvement. This negotiation of freedom is crucial for a successful identity development. Young people need to make their own experiences, even if that means they get hurt. We can’t protect them from everything. If we do, we limit their capacity to be ready for the world around them. 

 

Yet, what if a young person is struggling more than the normal feelings of anxiety, low mood, and depressive feelings that accompany identity development?

How can we support adolescents that find it harder to cut the cord to their parents and leave the nest, in order to try to fly in the real world?

1. Be there as a non-judgmental listener. 
2. Don’t provide advice, but share helpful resources. 
3. Give your adolescent space, don’t ask too many questions. Let them come to you with questions.
4. Trust your adolescent and let them make their own experience, easier said than done.
5. Recognize your limitations and seek professional help.

@drschwank

@unesurcent