Dr. Simone’s Mind Space

Pregnancy in style and why it’s important! Part 1

How often didn’t I think, why do women dress like this when pregnant and postpartum? Why do they stop caring for their looks?

Society puts so much emphasis on women’s bodies, and sometimes I wonder if pregnant and postpartum women just want to hide away from being seen and judged. Hide away under large sweatshirts and pregnancy kilos, as a protective envelope.

 

I’m sad about this hiding, which women end up or put themselves into. It’s leading to personal dissatisfaction, relationship issues with their partner, due to feeling less attractive and there with loosing sex appeal, and reduced sexual desire. When women’s libido drops, their focus primarily targeted to their child, partners often feel excluded, frustrated, and seek pleasure elsewhere. A partner engages in an affair. Nobody is to blame here, it’s only a common pattern, unfortunately happening more often then needed.

 

Because…..

Women way too often focus on everyone and everything else, but themselves. Then they feel dissatisfied and completely out of balance. They lack me-time, time dedicated to personal hobbies, friends, their career. Too often this lack of focus elsewhere, but predominantly focussing on the nuclear family, results in maternal gate keeping and its consequences of a frustrated, angry, and at times even violent partner, who feels excluded.

 

Small adjustments can make a huge difference:

A) Take out time for yourself (i.e. a date night by yourself, a 40min run, a 30min massage, a swim in the lake and a coffee after that, an apéro with a friend, anything you love to do all by yourself).

B) Be confident in your body. Take out the essential time to exercise. Especially, after having a baby, exercise is vital and a welcome escape from the new and intense routines. It’s the best self-confidence, mood, and health booster! So go out and run, yoga, swim, bike mm.

C) Feel empowered in your clothes, rather than hide away under large oversized clothes (PS: I’m a huge fan of oversized clothes, as long as they’re oversized on my body and I don’t need to buy oversize because I can’t fit in regular clothes!).

D) Stay firm to your decisions. Don’t second guess or let yourself be influenced by others and others comments. You know yourself best. Believe in yourself!

E) Wear the style YOU love! Don’t let others influence you by what they would wear!

@drschwank

@unesurcent

Let’s talk about our uterus

No female organ is talked more about than the female uterus. As if it’s a public god, people, particularly men think they can decide over it, in politics, society, religion, family, and partnerships. My guest, Natalia nuclear power expert and physicist discuss our uterus from multiple angles and provide women ways to set boundaries for their personal integrity, particularly in relation to their uterus. 

Enjoy and get inspired. Female empowerment starts with knowledge. 

#itsawomensworld #unesurcent #drschwankinsights

@drschwank

@unesurcent

Parent coaching focus: Emotional parenting

Learn how to support social-emotional development in your child from birth to age three.

 

It's so important for parents to help their child learn how to cope with their feelings. Learn how parents are their child's guide in sharing the joys and coping with the challenges, starting on day one. Starting in the earliest months of life, well before they can use words to express themselves, babies have the capacity to experience peaks of joy, excitement, and elation. Babies can also feel fear, grief, sadness, hopelessness, and anger.

 

What can parents do?

Use illustrative books to show your baby different emotions. Including fear, anger, sadness, all colors of emotions that exist, and have their legitimacy.

Researchers have found that even more than IQ, your emotional awareness and ability to handle feelings will determine your success and happiness in all walks of life.

 

Emotional coaching  used by parents builds confidence and helps toddlers to teens to grow socially, emotionally, and intellectually.

• Learn the best ways to respond when your child is sad, angry, or scared
• Discover how to use emotions as opportunities for connection and teaching
• Learn how to set clear, consistent limits while helping your child problem-solve

 

How can we learn children to understand and regulate emotions?

The podcast supports parents, educators, and caregivers how to emotionally coach their children. By increasing emotional awareness and communication skills, parents improve their emotional responsiveness and, in turn, create emotionally intelligent children.

 

The podcast provides an understanding of what emotional intelligence is, why it’s important, and how to use it to help establish a solid emotional foundation for your child.

 

Take home learnings

• Understand the importance of Emotional Intelligence
• Learn how to recognize, respond to, and validate what your child is feeling
• Learn how to be an effective emotional parent
• Discover ways to express understanding and empathy
• Learn how to set limits and problem solve with children

 

@drschwank

@unesurcent

Parent coaching focus: How to help your child learn to cooperate

To get our young children and toddlers to cooperate, we need to help them understand how our requests and rules are good for everyone.

 

Cooperation is the ability to balance one’s own needs with someone else’s. We often think of cooperation as children doing what adults want. That is compliance. True cooperation means a joint effort—a give and take that is mutually satisfying. To develop a cooperative spirit in children, we need to help them understand how our requests and rules are good for everyone.

 

How to go about?

Take turns

Between 6 and 9 months, babies can begin to engage in back-and-forth interactions. They also learn to imitate. Give your child time to copy you.

Explain your reasons for limits and requests

At three years old, most children use and understand language well enough to handle simple explanations.

Take time to problem-solve

You can help your older two- and three-year-olds come up with solutions to everyday dilemmas and encourage cooperation at the same time.

Do chores together starting at an early age

Let your child grow up experiencing the benefits of cooperation.

Give specific praise for cooperative efforts

Point out why and how their contribution was important.

Give your child choices while maintaining the rules

Offering choices shows your child respect, and respect creates a sense of collaboration.

 

Resources

https://www.zerotothree.org/

@drschwank

@unesurcent

Coaching and Engaging Families in Early Intervention Services

Families need to play an important role in early intervention services in order to support their child’s goals and development. Although there is no “magic wand” to ensure family engagement, there are a variety of evidence-based strategies designed to support greater family involvement in early intervention services.

 

Services

• Parent coaching model offers a means to build parents’ confidence and competence in the context of home visits.
• Supervisors, coaches and mentors offer onsite sessions, webinars, keynotes and presentations at parent school conferences.
• Visits can involve parenting tips, role play
• Listen to the separate podcast on: 1. Tips on helping your child learn to cooperate; 2. Learning ways to support your child’s social-emotional development from birth to age three.

 

@drschwank

@unesurcent

Pregnancy life journey part 3: What makes the early years so crucial for the future trajectory of life?

The first three years of life are a period of major growth in all areas of an infant’s development. The earliest relationships with caregivers can promote healthy brain development, young children build social and emotional skills, and ways you can support language and literacy development starting already pre-birth. Talking to your infant during pregnancy and reading stories to them when their born really helps their growth. Loving relationships give young children a sense of comfort, safety, confidence, and encouragement. They teach young children how to form friendships, communicate emotions, and to deal with challenges. Strong, positive relationships also help children develop trust, empathy, compassion, and a sense of right and wrong. 

 

Prevention

Support of pregnant women at risk to develop or having ongoing metal health problems. 

 

Early intervention

For children at significant risk, early intervention can serve as a protective buffer against the multiple adverse influences that may hinder their developmental progress. 

 

Brain development

As parents, your interaction with your child play a crucial role in building a baby’s brain. Play; everyday way to help babies and toddlers learn important concepts. Through play, children learn to be good problem-solvers, and to get along with others.

 

Resources

https://www.zerotothree.org/

@drschwank

@unesurcent

Pregnancy and preparation to early childhood part 2

How do we mentally prepare parents-to-be for their transition to a new life? A life with new routines, less time for the couple, the individual parent themselves. Discussions related to values of parenting are often lacking prior to childbirth and can cause tension and unmet expectations once the baby’s born. Topics such as anxieties, uncertainties related to becoming a parent are often also not shared among the couple.

Uncomfortable topics are often not brought up, or life dreams of career-family compatibility not communicating among each other. 

How to parent is vastly influenced by our own childhood experience. Often it’s intuitive and we don’t even imagine our partner thinking or acting differently. That’s why a pre-baby discussion on parenting and values can be so crucial. 

 

Family coaching can be an effective way to discuss values with each other. Open up one’s backpack of one’s one childhood experiences, believes, and dreams. So often we believe the other knows exactly how to do about the night routine, since we so naturally turn to our own experience, but they don’t know. 

 

@drschwank

@unesurcent

Pregnancy life journey part 1

Pregnancy and the entire perinatal time is one of the most vulnerable times in a woman’s life. Such tremendous responsibility lying on her shoulders. How can one master this time in the best possible way? What do we know from science that can support us in navigating the jungle of recommendations of does and don’ts in pregnancy?

Intergenerational transmission is scientifically proven to appear and exist in holocaust survivors, 9/11 survivors, as well as people experiencing other traumatic situations. 

Intergenerational transmission manifests in epigenetic changes, due to environmental factors, such as famines, wars, trauma, maternal chronic stress, mental health problems/disorders, and living in impoverished, low socioeconomic environments.

Prevention and early intervention already during pregnancy are crustal to improve the outcome of the next generation. This is an urgent public health call to reduce to rising burden of disease globally, related to mental health. 

 

@drschwank

@unesurcent

Narcissism from the inside out

Narcissism is a common phenomenon, yet people exposed to it feel often isolated and alone. When reaching out to experts, many don’t have the expertise and get disguised by the narcissist’s manipulations.

It is a phenomenon that occurs way too often at work or in romantic relationships. Until the person exposed to narcissism is aware of her/his situation, quite some damage on the person’s sense of self has already been done. It is therefore, as well as due to the manipulative behavior in public, social, and legal situations, essential to educate both social workers, child protective services, and lawyers. In order for them to understand and interpret a narcissistic situation early, to support rather than jeopardise the exposed person’s situation. This can be situations related to child custody, separation, divorce or domestic violence.

 

But what are the characteristics of a narcissistic personality?

 

First of all, narcissism is an essential component of mature self-esteem and basic self-worth. Yet, if this self-affection is only healthy to a degree and if it is the primary motivation in interpersonal relationships to protect one’s sense of self, the unhealthy narcissistic personality disorder starts. Manipulation, devaluation of others, lying, and the use of white crimes, are only a couple of examples.

 

#femaleempowerment #womeninbusiness #femaleentrepreneur #mentalhealth #narcissism #drschwankinsights #unesurcent #podcast #itsawomensworld

 

@drschwank

@

 

There’s no mountain high enough for women to climb

Growing up in one of the most conservative countries in the world, with only 50 years of women’s right to vote and the right to open a bank account without husband approval, only since the 1990ies!!

The entire society is structured around one bred-winner and 99% of all women with children work part-time. Especially, the part-time work is what causes a huge career disadvantage for Swiss women. When they work part-time to make work and family life compatible, the male counterparts boost their careers. Free from any female concurrency. Once the women return to work after parental leave and initiate in part-time work, they’re often stuck in an intellectually not very stimulating job. Often having a male and far too often less qualified person above them.

 

An incredibly unfulfilling situation, leading many women quit work or work on a low percentage, reducing their chances for a career even more. The burden on Swiss women is extraordinarily high, since the school system, beside the work environment. It’s built upon the ideal housewife, staying at home and cooking 3 meals a day, including lunch!! Since Swiss kids up to 9th grade come home for lunch. It’s looked down upon, and women are seen as bad mothers, if they don’t provide lunch for their child.  A child that doesn’t eat at home, but rather at at a lunch place, i.e. organised by the church or other none-profit organisations, is called a “Schlüsselkind” or “key chain kid”.

Yet, these lunch services, that have such a negative association, yet aren’t free and require additional organisation and coordination. These factors complicate the combination of work and family life. These particular reasons, make it extraordinary challenging for Swiss women to  return to work smoothly.

 

What to do?

• Reduce the fees for daycare, in order not to use the entire salary just to cover the childcare costs.
• Increase number of public schools providing lunch at school.
• Urgent need for change in work culture.
• Provide greater flexibility at work places, working from home, choice of working hours.
• Job sharing in senior positions.
• Maybe maybe in Switzerland it’s necessary to initiate a quota, to increase the number of women in executive position from 0% to a utopia 50%.
• Men need to be more involved and able to be part-time workers.
• Provide access to more generous parental leave.
• Anonymous hiring process, to reduce gender and racial discrimination.
• Provide resources to women, such as mentorship, access to women’s networks to find role models and like-minded women.

@drschwank

@unesurcent