Dr. Simone’s Mind Space

Back to school: autonomy

The importance of autonomy can’t be underestimated in all ages, from birth to old age. The earlier we establish autonomy, the better for our sense of self, self-esteem, self-containment, frustration tolerance, and general independence.

We all desire to be independent masters of our own lives, in very young and very mature  age.

Giving safe autonomy early in a baby’s, infant, and toddler’s life, requires trust, courage, patience, and respect from the parents. The more parents are aware of their important role, the earlier a child develops autonomy, learns skills, masters them by him/herself, resulting in happiness, pride, and certainty reduces frustration.

 

Motto for parents:

Give your children time!

Time to play by themselves, figure out role plays to get in touch with their feelings.

Dare to let your child be bored!

It fosters creativity and frustration tolerance. It gives the child a sense of control, ownership, pride, and competence. A true self-esteem booster.

 

@drschwank

@unesurcent

@optimalperformancezurich

Back to school: Self-esteem

As parents, we positively influence our children’s self-esteem by giving the children autonomy from a very early age on.

 

We can praise them for their efforts in school, extra curricular activities, sports, music, art, etc. not for their performance, grades, winning, etc. The latter reduces self-esteem,  sets the child under massive performance pressure, as the child is only seen and appreciated for its performance not for oneself.

 

Warm and loving relationships are the foundation of children’s self-esteem because they make children feel valued and worthwhile. Relationships are built on plenty of responsive, caring interactions with your child. Family rituals are important too, because they build your family relationships and give your child a sense of belonging.

 

You can build a positive relationship with your child by:

• being in the moment with your child
• spending quality time with your child
• creating a caring environment of trust and respect.

 

A self-esteem booster list:

• Help kids find their passion
• Praise perseverance
• Foster autonomy
• Treat your child with respect
• Avoid being critical
• Encourage communication
• Find and focus on their strength
• Involve your children in household tasks
• Set goals
• Focus on your child
• Be a role model
• Deal with mistakes constructively
• Encourage healthy friendships
• Encourage independence
• Give your child balanced feedback
• Independent activity
• Model confidence yourself
• Offer unconditional love

 

References

https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/behaviour/understanding-behaviour/about-self-esteem

Back to school: Exams, homework, and after school activities

Today’s children’s schedule is more compact than many adults. It involves a lot of performance driven activities, such as exam preparation, homework, music lessons, competitive sports, potential tutoring, and more.

This constant performance and active mode of children limits creative play, boredom, and phantasy. It further requires parent involvement, rather than time with peers or by oneself.

 

Recommendations:

• Less is more!
• Reduce the number of activities.
• Let your child decide the activities they want to engage in.
• Skip homework, if possible.
• Tutoring only if absolutely necessary.
• Balance expectations with regard to exams.
• Let your child guide the way and set the pace in academics.
• Intervene as little as possible: Autonomy is key!
• Keep empty spaces in the child’s agenda for creative, self-directed play.

@drschwank

@unesurcent

@optimalperformancezurich

Back to school: Transition phase and new academic milestones

Starting a new school year is demanding for everyone within the family. New routines need to be established, stress regulated, adjustment to new academic and social settings digested and contained.

This requires a lot of emotional capacity and stress tolerance by the parents. Being aware of this crucial role as parents is very relevant and parents will notice the positive outcome of a more harmonious home, when providing that emotional outlet. For parents of children of all age groups, building buffer zones is crucial, in order to have the mental space to deal with the children’s emotions. Especially, during the first weeks after the long summer break.

 

A practical family guide:

• Take turns in attending the children vs. alone and couple’s time.
• Structure your family’s week to get an overview of peek times.
• Plan space in your schedule for spontaneous changes.
• Be attuned to your child’s needs and meet them, yet not without boundary setting and consequences.
• Dare to say no. We all reach our limits.
• Give your child the time she/he needs to get ready.
• Provide room for outmost amount of autonomy to children of any age (reduces frustration in the child and parent).
• Allow the child’s physical and mental metamorphosis to happen.
• Include outdoor activities to decompress as a family.
• Spend time with each family member independently.
• Share cooking and meals together to create space for communication and quality time.
• Be a thriving role model for your child.

@drschwank

@unesurcent

@optimalperformancezurich

 

 

State of the Art Fertility Treatment Episode 1

Today’s conversation and first episode of a public health series, with Anna Raggi, MD, gynecologist, reproductive medicine specialist and gynecological endocrinologist. Women's health has always fascinated her, and even as a young doctor she enjoyed listening to her patients, consulting, and advising them. She is very passionate about her work at the Fertisuisse fertility treatment center in Olten and Basel, Switzerland, which she founded with three partners in 2014. She is very grateful that she has became a mother of two children at a relatively young age. www.fertisuisse.ch, www.wirwolltendich.ch

 

@drschwank

@unesurcent

@optimalperformancezurich

Back to school

A time of excitement, anxiety, and increased stress for all family members.

 

How can we best navigate this time to keep the calm and support our little ones the best?

 

• Start the day with a family routine.
• Make every day a special day.
• Prepare school bags the day before to reduce stress in the morning.
• Discuss who likes which snacks and pack them for break times.
• Keep time without plans in the kids calendar.
• Facilitate play dates, sleepovers, etc
• Have time to spend as a family that’s quality time.
• Encourage sports as balance to mental school work.

 

@drschwank

@unesurcent

@optimalperformancezurich

 

Summer time, play time

Many parents around the world are currently spending more time with their children than during their usual working days. School holidays are usually longer than parents holiday weeks off work, resulting in lots of organization, additional financial costs, challenges to meet all family members’ needs, tension, family, couple’s vs. alone time.

 

How to deal with summer break as a family, couple, and individual parent?

 

A practical guide to summer school break:

• Discuss in advance your expectations.
• Plan extra buffer zones to remain spontaneous, flexible, and, reduce tension.
• Engage in activities as a family, yet also set aside time as a couple, and me time for each member.
• Organise support and child care in advance to secure the availability.
• Plan couple‘s time together.
• Agree on times during the day each one takes for me time.
• Meet friends over the day; your house isn’t a hotel.
• Surround yourself with people that feel like sunshine.
• Meet fellow ladies to spend some girls time and chat.
• Choose your own four walls, especially with small children!
• Order dinner in at nights heading to an overcrowded restaurant feels too much.
• Tension and conflicts are normal, when suddenly spending more time together and often in more constrained spaces, outside of anyone’s everyday routines. Get out and get some fresh air!

@drschwank

@optimalperformancezurich

@unesurcent

How to cope with loneliness

After a wonderful time as a couple, leaving the baby with hid grandparents, to suddenly be all alone, needs adjustment!

Such a tough day, making one very sensitive, vulnerable, and thin skinned.

On such a day, it’s important to be extra kind and generous to ourselves.

 

Here comes a list of recommendations:

• Go to a cafe by yourself.
• Stroll around without clear agenda.
• Relax at a place you’d usually would go to.
• Take a nice yoga class.
• Enjoy nature.
• Ring a friend.

@drschwank

@optimalperformancezurich

@unesurcent

Quality of life

How do we define life quality in its core?

Living in today’s societies, constantly being on is difficult. We run around 24/7 in our mind and physically always being on the go, planning the next activity, task etc.

Being and living in the moment isn’t even existing anymore. That’s very sad and concerning, with regards to our mental and physical health. It takes a lot of effort to get into a state of calm and relaxation, when the mind is constantly on overdrive.

 

Tips to unwind:

• Schedule some time in nature, a relaxing class.
• Go offline, everyday for an extended time.
• Observe yourself and your interpretation of relaxation.
• Set a 5min with no plan.

 

@drschwank

@optimalperformancezurich

@unesurcent

Couples time: looking in each other’s eyes

It’s essential for young parents or busy working couples to take time to look into each other’s eyes. Dedicate time just for one another! It will maintain the relationship and spread happiness to all family members.

 

 

@drschwank

@optimalperformancezurich

@unesurcent